🤗 Here’s What Happened When I Started Talking to Strangers

I once read about a study where commuters were asked to strike up a conversation with a stranger on public transportation. In the study, half of the participants were instructed to talk to someone, while the other half were told to keep to themselves.

None of the participants identified as extroverts or wanted to approach a stranger.

And yet, the results were clear: those who engaged in conversation reported a significantly better mood than those who stayed silent.

From Avoidance to Curiosity

This study stuck with me because, at the time, I was working on being less shy about talking to strangers.

Once upon a time, the absolute worst type of event for me was a networking event. I dreaded showing up alone and being forced into what felt like shallow conversations.

But I also knew that if I wanted to grow as a coach, I had to put myself out there. There’s no use in being a good coach if no one knows you exist.

So I started small.

I would strike up conversations by asking simple questions. And what I found was this: when you’re genuinely curious about someone, they can feel it, and the conversation flows.

Just like the participants in the study, I would leave those interactions feeling good.

Not just because I had accomplished a mini goal, but because there’s something about connecting with another human being that brightens your day.

Socializing Is a Skill

Approaching people became easier with practice.

And somewhere along the way, I realized something I didn’t expect:

I actually really like people!

Everyone has a story, and most are fascinating if you take the time to listen.

Now, I’ll talk to anyone. I can show up to an event by myself and make new friends by the end. I’m the person who says hello when passing you on the street instead of staring down at my phone.

Socializing is a muscle, and when you use it, it pays off in dividends.

I’ve established some really great personal and professional relationships, but perhaps most importantly:

I rarely feel lonely.

The Biology of Connection

Being socially connected is one of the most underrated pillars of health. Humans have evolved to thrive in community.

When we connect with others, our bodies release oxytocin, which helps lower stress, reduce blood pressure, decrease inflammation, and increase feelings of trust and well-being.

And the flip side is just as important.

Chronic loneliness has been shown to be as harmful to your health as smoking 15 cigarettes per day, according to research highlighted by the U.S. Surgeon General.

Connection isn’t just emotional; it’s biological.

A Bowl of Kimchi

I’ve been incredibly busy lately with a somewhat unpredictable schedule, which has made it harder to plan social time.

Yesterday evening, I found myself craving being around people but didn’t feel like coordinating plans. Earlier in the day, I had passed a sushi restaurant and told myself I’d go there when I was done with errands.

When I walked in, it was packed and lively.

I was the only one sitting alone.

And surprisingly, I didn’t feel self-conscious at all. I was actually enjoying people-watching and overhearing snippets of conversation.

There was something about the place that gave me Korean-owned vibes. So I asked one of the waitresses if she was the owner.

She laughed. “No, I wish.”

I asked if she was Korean. She said yes.

So I started speaking to her in Korean, and we ended up chatting about neighborhoods we had both lived in while in Seoul.

A few minutes later, she came back with a container of kimchi and told me to take it home.

A small gesture, but it made my night.

A Trail and a New Friend

Today, I microdosed and went hiking on a nearby trail.

There were a lot of people out riding bikes, which sparked something in me. I realized it might be time to finally get one of my own. Being 5’1”, I’ve always struggled to find one that actually fits.

So I pulled out my phone and started researching. I kept seeing one brand pop up: Liv, a company that designs bikes specifically for women.

A little further up the trail, I saw a woman dismount from her bike to sit on a bench and hydrate.

So I went up to her and asked what kind of bike she had.

It was a Liv (of course).

We started talking. She asked if I was from around here. I told her I was relatively new to Colorado and had been living in Mexico.

Turns out her husband is Mexican — and a bike expert.

She told me they’d be happy to help me find the right bike. We exchanged numbers and made plans to ride together once I get one.

And just like that, I made a new friend.

What Happens When You Say Yes

None of these moments were planned.

They happened because I said yes to small openings.

Connection doesn’t require perfect timing or a big plan, just a little willingness to look up, say hello, and be curious about the person in front of you.

Because you never know what might come from it:

• A conversation

• A gesture of kindness

• A new friendship

• A reminder that you’re not alone

An Invitation

If you’ve been feeling a little disconnected lately, consider this your invitation to experiment.

Talk to someone.
Sit at the bar instead of a table.
Ask a question you might normally keep to yourself.

You might be surprised by how much it shifts your energy.

And if you’re craving something deeper — real connection, shared experience, and meaningful growth in a supportive space — there is something incredibly powerful about coming together intentionally.

I’ll be facilitating a women’s group psilocybin journey at The Center Origin in Denver, CO on June 20.

Group work has a way of reminding us that we’re not alone in what we carry, what we’re healing, or what we’re becoming.

If you’re curious, you can reach out to learn more.

Because at the end of the day…

we’re not meant to do this alone.